October 7, 2020
How to be the BEST Mom ever!
I see you over there! Tired, frustrated, craving that alone time! I donโt know about you but some days you feel like just crawling back into bed…almost like itโs calling your name! Right???
Well, a few years ago, I think I had more days that I felt frustrated than days when I felt in control. Kind of like that feeling when youโre driving somewhere and you canโt even remember how you got there…itโs the weirdest feeling ever.
Itโs kind of subtle how it happens..your mind takes you on a ride of roller-coaster emotions and you barely take notice. But the truth is that all that crazy chatter going on in your brain is affecting how you feel every minute of the day!
Did you know that itโs impossible to be thinking and aware at the same time? When was the last time that you werenโt thinking about something? I donโt know about you, but I think once I became a mom, worry and subconscious thinking kind of took on a whole new meaning!
I mean, us moms, we worry about EVERYTHING!! We are usually our worst critic and this can really take a toll on both your physical and mental well-being.
Itโs kind of like that cup of coffee you served yourself this morning and then left inside your sonโs closet because your baby started crying…the cup of coffee you never drankโฆ..
I have to tell you, that now more than ever, I really think I need to let you in on a big secretโฆ.
Itโs the ONE thing I wish someone had told me when I first became a mom. In fact, it’s the advice I give to all new moms since I figured it out.
Can you guess what that is? Can you guess what the secret to being the best mom ever is?
No, itโs not worrying about every possible thing in the world, itโs not being the room parent or volunteering for every class eventโฆ.
Itโs not the fact that you seem to be all put together all the time and your kids look spotless. Itโs none of that! And yet itโs so easy to think itโs all that,
I mean look at all the super momโs on Pinterest making colorful lunches for their kids with fruits in the shapes of hearts.
They make it look easy! If youโre one of those super creative moms and that brings you happiness, then awesome!
But if youโre not because you have 3 kids under the age of 5, youโve barely slept a solid 4 hours straight since you have kids, or you’re overwhelmed between work and home, Iโm here to tell you that the shape of the fruit doesn’t matter.
But…Iโm also here to tell you that if you donโt take a moment to pause, take a step back and make some real changes in your life, you will yell more, get disappointed more than you ever thought possible and you will feel guilty and โnot enoughโ before long. We are not robots.
Before you became a mom you were YOU. Who was that person? Do you remember her? The one that loved _________ (fill in the blank). The one that dreamt of one day doing ______(fill in the blank).
Yeah, that girl…the dreamerโฆ.the lover…remember her???
Donโt forget about her. She is you. Everyday, do something that reminds you of what YOU love to do. You donโt need extra time in your day. It can be ANYTHING!! Maybe it’s as simple as playing music from your favorite band that takes you back to a carefree time, maybe itโs going for a run or reading a few pages of your favorite book.
Whatever it is, you NEED to make it a priority. Yeah, thatโs the secret. The secret to being the best mom in the world is remembering to nurture the person who you used to be, the person you aspire to be and the one you are todayโฆ.all in one day, every day.
If youโre curious about the 6 things that help me (and still do), Download my 6 steps to a happier and healthier you-and look at it often. Especially on the days you need the reminder. You owe it to yourself (and your kids!)
Have a GREAT week!
With Health and Happiness,
Elizabeth Vainder, M.D.