October 7, 2020
How to be the BEST Mom ever!
I see you over there! Tired, frustrated, craving that alone time! I don’t know about you but some days you feel like just crawling back into bed…almost like it’s calling your name! Right???
Well, a few years ago, I think I had more days that I felt frustrated than days when I felt in control. Kind of like that feeling when you’re driving somewhere and you can’t even remember how you got there…it’s the weirdest feeling ever.
It’s kind of subtle how it happens..your mind takes you on a ride of roller-coaster emotions and you barely take notice. But the truth is that all that crazy chatter going on in your brain is affecting how you feel every minute of the day!
Did you know that it’s impossible to be thinking and aware at the same time? When was the last time that you weren’t thinking about something? I don’t know about you, but I think once I became a mom, worry and subconscious thinking kind of took on a whole new meaning!
I mean, us moms, we worry about EVERYTHING!! We are usually our worst critic and this can really take a toll on both your physical and mental well-being.
It’s kind of like that cup of coffee you served yourself this morning and then left inside your son’s closet because your baby started crying…the cup of coffee you never drank…..
I have to tell you, that now more than ever, I really think I need to let you in on a big secret….
It’s the ONE thing I wish someone had told me when I first became a mom. In fact, it’s the advice I give to all new moms since I figured it out.
Can you guess what that is? Can you guess what the secret to being the best mom ever is?
No, it’s not worrying about every possible thing in the world, it’s not being the room parent or volunteering for every class event….
It’s not the fact that you seem to be all put together all the time and your kids look spotless. It’s none of that! And yet it’s so easy to think it’s all that,
I mean look at all the super mom’s on Pinterest making colorful lunches for their kids with fruits in the shapes of hearts.
They make it look easy! If you’re one of those super creative moms and that brings you happiness, then awesome!
But if you’re not because you have 3 kids under the age of 5, you’ve barely slept a solid 4 hours straight since you have kids, or you’re overwhelmed between work and home, I’m here to tell you that the shape of the fruit doesn’t matter.
But…I’m also here to tell you that if you don’t take a moment to pause, take a step back and make some real changes in your life, you will yell more, get disappointed more than you ever thought possible and you will feel guilty and “not enough” before long. We are not robots.
Before you became a mom you were YOU. Who was that person? Do you remember her? The one that loved _________ (fill in the blank). The one that dreamt of one day doing ______(fill in the blank).
Yeah, that girl…the dreamer….the lover…remember her???
Don’t forget about her. She is you. Everyday, do something that reminds you of what YOU love to do. You don’t need extra time in your day. It can be ANYTHING!! Maybe it’s as simple as playing music from your favorite band that takes you back to a carefree time, maybe it’s going for a run or reading a few pages of your favorite book.
Whatever it is, you NEED to make it a priority. Yeah, that’s the secret. The secret to being the best mom in the world is remembering to nurture the person who you used to be, the person you aspire to be and the one you are today….all in one day, every day.
If you’re curious about the 6 things that help me (and still do), Download my 6 steps to a happier and healthier you-and look at it often. Especially on the days you need the reminder. You owe it to yourself (and your kids!)
Have a GREAT week!
With Health and Happiness,
Elizabeth Vainder, M.D.